FAIDA YA KUMFAGILIA MUPENZI WAKO KWA MAMBO YA NDANI NA YA NJE ANAYOKUFANYIA!!

YAPO mengi mazuri ambayo huenda mpenzi wako aliwahi kukufanyia, je uliwahi kumshukuru kwa kukufanya ufarijike? Naamini Mungu amekujaalia kuwa na mpenzi mzuri, mwenye kila sifa ambayo ulitamani awe nayo, je ulishawahi kumsifia hata kwa kumwambia ni mzuri?
Huenda ulishawahi kufanya hivyo lakini kwa taarifa yako wapo ambao wanahisi kufanya hivyo eti ni ulimbukeni. Ulimbukeni? Kumsifia mpenzi wako  unaona ni ulimbukeni wakati wataalam wa masuala ya mapenzi wanaeleza kuwa, wanawake ni watu wanaopenda kusifiwa sana hata kwa madogo wanayoyafanya?
Unaona hatari gani kumsifia mpenzi wako kuwa ni mzuri? Unadhani unatumia nguvu gani kumsifia mpenzi wako kutokana na mahaba mazito anayokupata? 
Kwa taarifa yako unaweza kuona ni kitu kidogo sana  lakini madhara yake kwenye penzi ni makubwa.
Kumsifia mpenzi wako kwa yale anayokufanyia kuna faida nyingi sana lakini kwa leo nitagusia chache. Kwanza kunaongeza mapenzi. Mume/mke anaposifiwa kuwa anajua mapenzi hata kama si kwa kiwango kikubwa, anafarijika sana.
Unapomwambia mpenzi wako: ‘Dear nashukuru kwa mapenzi uliyonipa jana, umenipa furaha ya ajabu ambayo siamini kama kuna mtu mwingine wa kunipa, nakupenda sana’. 
Maneno kama haya hutumii nguvu wala muda mwingi kuyafikisha kwa mpenzi wako lakini uzito wake ni mkubwa. Kwanza anajihisi aliyekamilika kwa kufikia hatua ya kufanya mambo yakamridhisha mpenzi wake na kwa mazingira hayo anaamini huwezi kumsaliti. Hisia hizo zitamfanya azidi kukupenda.
Hilo ni kwa wote yaani kwa mwanaume na mwanamke. Lakini pia unapomsifia mpenzi wako kwa yale anayokufanyia, unamfanya aongeze kasi ya kukufanyia ili nawe uzidi kumpenda. 
Kwa mfano, unapokutana na mpenzi wako kisha ukamwambia ‘umependeza kweli mpenzi wangu, nazidi kukupenda kwa unavyovaa’. 
Mtu anayeambiwa maneno haya atajitahidi sana siku zote aonekane nadhifu na wa kuvutia kwa mpenzi wake akijua kwamba, akivaa ilimradi kuvaa, hatamfurahisha mpenzi wake. Kwa maana hiyo kumsifia mpenzi wako kunamfanya azidi kuwa bora.
Lakini kusifia kusiwe kwa kinafiki. Usimsifie mpenzi wako eti ili kumfanya ajione bora kumbe katika uhalisia siyo hivyo.
Tusifiane pale inapobidi huku tukijua kuwa kwa kufanya hivyo tutapata faida. Tusiwe na tabia ya kuchukulia poa kila tunachofanyiwa na wapenzi wetu. 
Kama kakuridhisha kimapenzi, msifie kwamba yeye ni muhimu kwako kwa kuwa amekupa ulichotarajia. Amekupikia chakula kizuri, msifie kuwa yeye ni mpishi mzuri. Hiyo italinogesha penzi na utashangaa kila siku inayokwenda kwa Mungu penzi lenu linachanua.
Lakini mbali na hayo, unatakiwa kuridhika kwa kile unachokipata kutoka kwa huyo mpenzi wako ulinaye kwa sasa. Najua kwenye uhusiano wengi tumetoka mbali. Wapo waliowahi kuwa na wapenzi zaidi ya mmoja huko nyuma na kila mmoja alikuwa na kiwango chake cha kukuridhisha. 
Inawezekana kuna ambaye unamkumbuka kwa mapenzi mazito aliyokuwa anakupa zaidi ya huyo uliyenaye. Hiyo ni historia, imepita! Kama huyo uliyenaye si mtaalam sana wa kukufikisha pale unapopata, ridhika na hicho kidogo unachokipata endapo atakuwa anaonesha kukupenda kwa dhati.
Mpe moyo, msifiesifie kidogo kwa hiyo furaha kiduchu anayokupa huku ukiamini kuwa, atabadilika kadiri siku zinavyokwenda.
Kumbuka cha msingi katika maisha yetu ni kumpata mtu mwenye mapenzi ya kweli na si kumpata anayeweza kukuridhisha katika mambo kadha wa kadha.
chanzo:http://www.globalpublishers.info

Taarab: Nitadumu nae

41 per cent of women and 39 per cent of men still have feelings for an ex-lover

Ever feel like you're the star of your own romantic comedy – without the happy ending?

Sadly, you could be more of a SITCOM star – that's a singleton in their twenties or thirties, clinging on to memories.

Sitcoms are people who can't seem to find the right partner because they are hung up on their previous loves.

The sitcom tag is particularly appropriate because their love lives resemble a situation comedy, as they drift in and out of relationships without letting go of the past.

If this applies to you, it seems you are not alone.

A survey of 1,000 people asked men and women members of a dating website the reasons why they haven't found the right partner.

The most popular answer was that those they meet online do not match up to a previous lover.

Some 41 per cent of women and 39 per cent of men polled said they still had feelings for an ex-lover and this made it difficult to commit to a new partner.

Twenty-four per cent of women polled explained they were too busy at work to make a commitment, while 29 per cent said they didn't like meeting people in pubs and clubs 

 http://www.dailymail.co.uk/

African Wedding Botswana

Mahusiano:‘Ngoja nipumzike, sitaki, nimechoka’ huharibu mapenzi

MAISHA ya ndoa ni mazuri, lakini ni suala la msingi sana kuwa makini na ulimi pamoja na matendo yetu.

Kimsingi ni kwamba huwa ni kitu cha kusikitisha kidogo, mtu anaingia kwenye uwanja kwa ajili ya kucheza mpira kwa mfano, halafu hachezi amesimama tu kama mlingoti!

Unapoingia kwenye ndoa, pamoja na mambo mengine unapaswa kuwa makini na matendo ambayo unamwambia mwenzi wako.

Unapoingia kwenye ndoa unatakiwa kuwa tayari na yale ambayo hufanyika kwenye ndoa. Ni makosa kuingia kwenye ndoa, halafu unakuwa mwanandoa kero, kila kitu unachoambiwa wewe jibu ‘mimi siwezi, aaah nimechoka, sitaki, jana nimekupa na leo unataka tena, kwani mimi ng’ombe, aaah hata ng’ombe huwa anachoka vilevile’.

Kutwa nzima watu wamekuwa wakihangaika na maisha, inatia hasira unarudi nyumbani nako ni shida nyingine inatokea, ukifanya hiki, sitaki, nimechoka, naumwa kichwa, aaah subiri kwanza nipumzike’

Wenye kauli kama hizi wengi ni wanawake, ingawa pia wapo wanaume wachache. Kama ni wanaume basi huenda kuna kasoro, labda mwanaume anaanza kuwa na dalili za matatizo ya uwezo wake wa kiume, anaumwa magonjwa fulani hasa kama nyumba ya mgongo kwa chini kuna maumivu na wakati mwingine ni dalili za upendo kupungua.

Kwa asilimia kubwa wanaume huwa hawachoki kiasi cha kusema sitaki au siwezi. Akisema hivi basi ni dalili kama hizo za juu. Hata hivyo hata kama mwanaume anasumbuliwa na tatizo la nguvu, kuna vyakula ambavyo anaweza kula na hali yake inaweza kuwa nzuri, kama ambavyo mara kadhaa nimewahi kueleza katika makala zangu.

Wengine wanasumbuliwa na tatizo hili la nguvu, kwa sababu walifanya sana michezo kama ya kujichua, kulewa, kutumia dawa za kulevya, kufanya mazoezi sana kisha kuacha, kuvuta sigara, kutumia dawa za magonjwa hasa ya kisukari, moyo (baadhi ya dawa husababisha nguvu kupungua). Hata hivyo kwa vyovyote itakavyokuwa tiba yake ipo kama nilivyoeleza hapo juu, huna sababu ya kuwaza mabaya au kukata tamaa. Kukata tamaa katika maisha ni kosa kubwa.

Ndugu yangu natamani siku moja usiku Mungu angefungua mapaa yote ya nyumba wanazolala wanandoa halafu uone namna wengi wao wanavyolala, bila shaka kama bado hauko kwenye ndoa, usingeshawishika siku moja uwe mwanandoa.

Ninachotaka kusema ni kuwa ndoa nyingi zimejaa maigizo, watu wanaishi wanacheka, wengi wao wanaishi tu kwa shida, hakuna maelewano ya kutosha. Ndoa yako ikoje?

Baadhi ya nyumba kwa mfano, unaweza kuona mmoja anamlalamikia mwingine kwa kutokuwa mwaminifu nk. Baadhi ya nyumba pia utaona watu wamelala sebuleni, mmhh baba mzima au mama mzima ambaye unamuona mitaani, yanayoendelea kwenye nyumba yake ni vigumu kuamini kama kweli huyu fulani anaweza kufanya.

Msingi wa yote haya ni sisi wenyewe namna ambavyo tunatumia ulimi na matendo yetu, hivyo ni muhimu kuwa makini.

“Ngoja nipumzike, sitaki, aaah nimechoka”, ni kati ya kauli ambazo zinaharibu mapenzi. Je, wewe umewahi kuzitumia? Ni vizuri kuachana nazo. Umeingia kwenye mpira uko katikati, ni vizuri kuangalia namna ya kuucheza badala ya kuleteana kero ndani ya ndoa.

Mapenzi kama mnakomoana

Hekima pia inahitajika kujua mwenzangu yukoje na nifanyeje ili kwendana naye, maana kuna wengine kila siku anataka, kwa baadhi ya wanandoa huwa hawataki sana hilo, anaona kama unamkomoa. Kwa wiki angalau siku tatu si mbaya.

Hakuna athari za kisaikolojia za kukutana mara kwa mara kama wenyewe mnapenda, lakini si mbaya pia kubuni mbinu zingine za kukutana ili kuboresha uhusiano wenu na kufurahiana zaidi, japo tafiti nyingi zinaonyesha kuwa tendo linapofanywa mara nyingi linasaidia kwa kiasi kikubwa kuimarisha ndoa na kuwafanya wanandoa kupendana sana, kuliko wale ambao akiguswa aaah sitaki, jana nimekupa na leo unataka’.

Lakini pia mwenzi wako anapotaka, si hekima kusema sitaki, badala yake unapaswa kumsaidia kutimiza anachotaka, ziko njia nyingi hata kama ni kucheza tu, si ndio jamani?  

Mapenzi ni zaidi ya ‘kupigana ugomvi wa baba na mama’, mnapaswa kwa mfano kuwa mnatembea pamoja, kula pamoja, kuoga pamoja, kuzungumza kauli nzuri na mambo kama haya.

chanzo:mwananchi

WoW! This is fantastic! Wedding Dance

'I'd rather mop the floor than have sex with my husband!' Why one in three Brits see sex as just another chore

The end of another long day. Like thousands of women across the country I have spent the evening on a treadmill of duty — preparing dinner, ferrying children around, policing homework and then, finally, sorting laundry for the morning.

Now, as the Ten O’clock news finishes, I wipe my last surface and switch on the dishwasher. The house is blissfully quiet. Then a voice — my husband’s — calls  hopefully from the top of the stairs: ‘Are you coming to bed now?’  

Standing there, dishcloth in hand, my heart actually sinks. This is the moment when I know that my day is far from finished. There is still one, last, conjugal chore to be performed.

And before you all shout at once, I know that sex is not a job to be ticked off my never-ending list of things to do. But, boy, does it often feel that way! And according to a national study released last week, I know I am far from alone in dreading my husband’s advances at bedtime. 

Benenden Healthcare Society, a health and wellbeing mutual organisation, surveyed 2,000 adults and revealed that one in three Brits finds sex a chore, with many claiming they would rather ‘read a book’.

I can think of hundreds of things I’d rather do at bedtime than have sex with my poor, long-suffering husband, Keith. Sometimes it’s sleep, other times it’s watching re-runs of Grey’s Anatomy.

There have even been occasions when I have opted to mop the kitchen floor over love-making because, quite simply, it requires less input.

And before you all accuse me of being a frigid old bag, I know that many of my female married friends feel the same way.

‘It’s the nights when I come to bed and can hear him in the bathroom gurgling with mouthwash and “freshening” that I start to panic,’ one friend admits. ‘Sometimes I manage to creep back downstairs really quickly before he’s seen me and I spend the next hour or so in the utility room ironing so I don’t have to come up with yet another excuse as to why I don’t want sex.’ 

Another friend with a daughter in my son’s class admits to cleaning her teeth for 15 minutes until she hears her husband snoring.

: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/